How to build a child’s self confidence? | Tips and tricks

How to build a child's self confidence?

While I was reading a book on how to build a child’s self confidence, I remembered my daughter, Hana.

That’s when rays of pride radiated from her little face when they applauded her for her role in a school play.

Therefore, I’ll share a summary of the experiences I gained in my favorite field of raising children, especially how to build a child’s self confidence.

So please read along!



Self-esteem is fundamental to a person’s life and is also known as self-value or self-respect.

It refers to the way a person sees himself and influences his behavior and decisions.

The sense of appreciation gives the ability to overcome challenges and believe in oneself.


Boosting a child’s self confidence

Self-esteem can start as early as childhood when the child receives attention and constructive care.

The parental feelings of acceptance and security, unconditional love, and admiration during childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood contribute significantly to the development of self-esteem and confidence.

Therefore, parents should do their best to promote positive self-esteem in their children.


Why is self-confidence important in child development?

Children at every age learn new skills at an astonishing rate, and self-confidence can be essential for learning those same skills.

Therefore, the importance of self-esteem in children lies in the following:

  • Confident children are not afraid to try new things and do their best.
  • Self-confidence enables a child to properly deal with mistakes and encourages them to try again even if they fail at first.
  • It improves their prosocial behavior.
  • Self-confidence is a significant factor for good mental health and reduces the risk of depression and anxiety.


Signs of high self-esteem in children

It may be obvious to recognize when a child is confident.

Signs of self-esteem and self-confidence in children include the following:

  • Feeling loved and accepted, even if they make mistakes.
  • Feeling confident and proud in all they can accomplish.
  • They create a positive mental picture of themselves.
  • Belief in themselves and their abilities.


Signs of low self-esteem in children

Signs of lack of self-confidence in children and low self-esteem appear as follows:

  • They constantly criticize themselves.
  • They are self-conscious and believe that other children are always better than them.
  • Lack of confidence, feeling so let down that they may allow others to treat them poorly.
  • They may have difficulty defending themselves.
  • Think of failures rather than successes.
  • Doubting themselves and diminishing their ability to perform tasks well.


Reasons for low self-confidence in children

Some mistakes that parents make can cause their children to lose confidence, such as:

Verbal and physical abuse

The child receives the message from yelling and hitting that parents lack control over their impulses, which undoubtedly harms his self-confidence.

It leads to disruption of the child’s abilities to build effective dialogue, solve his problems, as well as build his self-confidence.

Making fun of the child

Sarcasm makes a child feel ashamed and makes it difficult for parents to communicate with their children effectively.

Similarly, if they are subjected to bullying in the community while receiving no conscious support for the problem at home, the child’s self-esteem is negatively affected.

Suppressing the child’s feelings

The child may resort to suppressing his feelings for fear of being criticized, or any abusive behavior from the parents.

Constant Blame

Reminding the child of his past mistakes, which have been discussed and resolved, is a way of teaching him to hold grudges for a long time.

The focus should be on supporting positive behaviors and allowing the child to start over.

Using the guilt trick

Some parents make their children feel guilty for their thoughts or feelings to control their actions.

Calling the child names

Some of the labels parents give their children, despite knowing they are inappropriate, such as “stupid” or “lazy,” destroy the child’s self-esteem.

Imposing excessive control on the child

Lack of support and encouragement or imposing excessive control on the child, to the extent that it prevents him from learning opportunities from trial and error, leads to feeling inadequate.

Expecting perfection

It is healthy to set high expectations and make an effort to reach them.

Expecting perfection from a child, on the other hand, makes him feel as if he will never achieve his goal no matter what he does.

Exposure to shock

Exposure to trauma, such as physical, sexual, or emotional abuse, can lead to low self-confidence.

Health problems

A child with a long-term medical condition, such as serious illnesses or physical disabilities, may experience low self-esteem.

You’re probably wondering how to build a child’s self confidence right now. 

Look no further, the solution is right here.


How to build a child’s self confidence?

The sense of self-confidence varies from one child to another, and there are many ways to increase self-confidence in children.

These approaches are based on how parents raise their children and other influential people in their lives, such as teachers.

Let’s go over some ideas on how to boost children’s self esteem.


Tips on how to build children’s confidence

Self-confidence can be developed in children by following some of the following tips:

  • Show unconditional love; the child must know that his parents love him no matter what, even when they are angry with him.


  • Helping the child learn new skills, such as music, sports, or cooking, will make them feel more confident and capable of dealing with new challenges.


  • Praise and show pride in the child, but do not overdo it.


  • Allow the child to experiment in order to motivate him or her to work harder and take responsibility.


  • Praise the child’s effort, not just the results. Self-confidence isn’t about succeeding in everything all the time.


  • Help the child discover his passion; to develop his sense of identity as soon as he sees his talents grow.


  • Enabling the child to transform desires and dreams into actionable goals; makes him feel powerful.


  • Education by example; The role of the family in enhancing the child’s self-confidence is a primary factor in the child’s future choices.


When adults complete tasks flawlessly without complaint, the child learns to have more confidence in his choices and actions in the future.


  • Focus on his strengths, not his flaws.
  • Allow the child to perform age-appropriate tasks; this provides more connection and recognition, such as: 
  1. Participation in household chores.
  2. Take part in school projects.
  3. As well as assisting his siblings.


  • Playing with the child shows him how grateful parents are for spending time with him.


  • Refrain from insulting the child and speaking to him respectfully. 


  • Learning things at school and making new friends are also ways to increase self-confidence in children.


The three most important activities for boosting a child’s self confidence

Here are some of the activities and exercises for self-confidence for children:

“I” activity

This activity reveals whether a child is proud of his accomplishments or tends to be overly self-critical.

The child lists the words that describe him – positive or negative – on a piece of paper, then focuses only on the positive and makes a list of them.

For example, we stick a child’s picture in the middle of a piece of paper. 

Then, ask him to fill in the area around it with positive adjectives and put it in his room to reinforce positive beliefs about himself.


List of achievements in life

They are recorded in the child’s achievement notebook, and we can ask him to write down his achievements every day before he goes to bed.


Change self-talk

On a piece of paper, the child writes negative self-talk in one column; and positive speech in another.

Next, we ask him to turn negative statements about himself into positive ones. 

We can help him by giving examples and stating clear and specific statements according to the child’s abilities.


The best phrases for boosting a child’s self confidence

A kind word has always been a key to hearts, so children need to receive positive reinforcement phrases from their parents, teachers, and other adults.

These statements can be considered one of the easiest ways to increase self-confidence in children, for example;

  • I really enjoy your company.
  • You are special.
  • I know you’re going to do a great job in school today.
  • You make me proud every day.
  • Our family is stronger because you are a part of it.
  • You are important in this world.
  • Definitely, your efforts will pay off.
  • I am glad I became your teacher.


Children’s self-confidence test

It can be challenging to measure a child’s self-confidence, as it requires a certain level of cognitive and verbal development for self-expression.

But one study indicated that by the age of five, a child develops a sense of self-confidence and self-esteem.

For example, preschoolers can provide oral reports on practices they are good at, such as running or writing.

The researchers also ran a simple test using flags that read “I” and “Not I” displaying a series of good and bad words.

The results showed that children, especially those with high self-confidence, associated themselves with good words more than bad in both boys and girls.


Finally, if you ever get confused about how to build a child’s self confidence, remember that your support and positive behavior are the keys. 

So strive to be his role model and let your child know that you are his biggest fan!


Read Also;

First aid for children | Save your child’s life!

Translated by
Dr. Basant Mohamed Atef

Translator. Dr. Basant Atef

I am a pharmacist with a Ph.D. in microbiology. Passionate about delivering medical sciences to others. I love explaining and researching medical information in both Arabic and English. It always bothered me that medical information in Arabic is so scarce, so I took it upon myself to help change that. So, I specialized in SEO medical content writing as well as medical translation. When I am not working on that, you’ll find me out exploring the world with my two wonderful boys.
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